Outside Adventure

I read somewhere about lack of sunlight playing a part in depression. This can manifest not only in adults but in kids as well.

So how do you combat that seasonal depression or lack of sun depression? By getting outside and having outside adventures.

This isn’t only important for the mental health of your family. Its great for the overal health of your family. We are currently in a generation where too many kids are more focused on a screen than they are in actually moving. They’re walking less, eating more junk food because it’s quick and easy. The obese percentage of this generation is higher now than ever. There are many variables that key into these percentages. However, one of the biggest is the technology that kids have so easily available to them

When I was a kid in the 90’s we had one computer but sometimes we didn’t have internet all the time. The one computer had to be used by four people so I didn’t get a lot of time like some kids today. And I know that I am guilty of giving my kids little tablets with educational apps on them. However, I don’t try to allow them to spend so much time on the without getting some sort of physical activity. Back when I was a kid, I got to use the computer when no one else needed it. Then there wasn’t much for a kid to do on there. I played a lot of Solitaire. What I did do to entertain myself. Was actually entertain myself. I played outside with neighbor kids. I ran around. I pretended sticks were wands. I rode a bike through the neighborhood. we raced. We created forts and played capture the flag. We did ding dong ditch to the cute teen next door. We were physically active. Something that the younger generation is not getting enough of now days.

I know when they’re in school they get maybe an hour of gym class in elementary school once a week and maybe 30 minutes of playtime on the playground. But that isn’t enough. They are expected to learn more and do more from the very first year they are in school. They are playing less in class and doing more work. Even the work is done more digitally. They use laptops in Kindergarten, they have smart boards, etc. They are not being active enough.

Not only can a life full of technology and less physical activities lead to obseity, it can lead to mental health issues. Kids now days are seeing less sunlight because they’re stuck in the house behind a screen. They’re getting less Vitamin D than they need. The deficiency of Vitamin D is also higher today than before. And as parents, there is a simple way that we can help our children.

GO OUTSIDE.

I understand that we are all living busy lives. It is hard to make time to go outside to just do nothing. But it is important. Even if you do it just once a week. I understand some times the weather doesn’t allow it. Sometimes its storming or is too wet from a store the day before. However, just 20 minutes a day of sunlight can help with the vitamin d and seasonal depression. Just spending a few minutes outside creating adventures will not only help your child keep up their physical activity… It will help their mental health.

These moments outside are the ones that they are going to remember. They are going to remember the adventures you had together. These are the days that they are going to think back to when they grow up. These are the moments that are going to inspire them when they become parents themselves.

I don’t know about you, but I want to be a great example as a parent for my kids. So that they can grow up thinking, ‘my mom did everything she could to ensure I lived a happy and healthy life’. Now I am not always too excited to go outside. Life happens, I get tired or sick or I just don’t feel like it. However, if the girls want to go run the yard or jump on the trampoline. I am not going to say no to them wanting to have physical activity. Unless it is snowing raining or just way too cold. We live in the south and the weather gets to 30’s in the winter like the other day when the baby, who had been sick, wanted to go jump. This is when the parenting part comes into play. Knowing when going outside for adventures is going to be beneficial. And going outside in 30 degree weather is not the best thing to do for children. Therefore, instead of just telling them to go watch a TV show. You can simply create adventures in the house. I remember playing the floor is lava as a child or building forts. We like hide and seek as well as tag. As long as there is nothing breakable out that can be knocked down, then there are times where running throughout the house is just the amount of physical activity we need.

Not okay

You do not have to accept things that you are not okay with. And I know that can be a struggle. Especially when you have a mental illness. for instance, I try to HELP everyone. I try to fix everything. I just do. I also try to feed everyone. For instance, my husbands ended up with two turkeys from his job. Of course we used one for Thanksgiving and I was going to give the second one to a friend who was going to do a community Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, some things came up and my friend couldn’t host the party. Therefore, we had an additional turkey.

So I decided that we couldn’t just leave that turkey in the freezer forever… So I decided, the weather is getting colder… Why not feed my husbands training class some turkey chili. It was pretty banging and the class loved it.

I have fed them numerous times. Because cooking helps me calm down when I am feeling anxious. Because cooking is something I have control over. I can control how something is cooked. I can control the chicken. I can control whether its baked, grilled, fried or boiled. I cannot always control my anxiety, although I am working on that.. But I can control what I cook.

Sometimes I feel like I am a push over and that a lot of people know this and use it to their advantage. Like my oldest brother. For instance, he uses manipulation to make me feel bad for him. As a way to guilt me into doing things for him. Enabling him. Only recently have I built up a back bone and learned that I do not have to accept things that I am not okay with. I am not okay with giving my brother money since I know he doesn’t use it for what he says he needs it for. He usually uses it to buy beer. Because he is an alcoholic. He says he is not but that is just denial. He is pretty much an ass when he is drunk and he knows I cannot stand him drinking or doing drugs and have kept him away from my kids when he is under the influence. Hell everytime he calls me or needs me… I go alone. My kids don’t need to be around it.

It is okay to say no. Honestly, as someone with a mental illness. I need to learn to say no more often. It is okay to not accept things that you’re not okay with. IF it makes you feel some type of way… say no. You do not have to do it. You can say no. If it makes you uncomfortable.. you don’t have to do it.

There is no rule saying that you absolutely have to accet thngs that you are not okay with. For instance, I am not okay with my FIL showing favortism to my oldest daughter and completely ignoring my youngest. He has cancelled quite a few times if my oldest wasn’t home. like coming to see the youngest alone was just too hard. But going to the school to eat lunch with the oldest was easy. Taking the oldest out to eat or to the park or to play at his house was easy. But spending any time with the youngest isn’t something that he can do. And I was not okay with that. And I let it be known that I was not okay with that. It has been almost a year since he has seen the kids. It all could have been resolved if he would have said hey I am sorry, I didn’t realize it was an issue. How can I fix it? But nope. That is not how things go. Nope. A grown man has to play the blame game. Has to blame the kids. Has to bash me to anyone and everyone that listens. Then I find out that he left his first wife not just once but twice. And the first time was when my husband was a kid. He left for someone a lot younger than him. Someone so young, that I am not okay with him being alone with my girls ever again. I am not okay with it and I don’t have to accept it.

I understand a lot of people think ‘hey he’s your husband’s father you can’t just shut him out’. Actually I can. Because my husband doesn’t want to be around his dad or his dad’s wife. They had a pretty awful relationship and I butted in and pushed for them to have some type of relationship. But since this has affect our kids…my husband is not accepting it. He’s not okay with it either and has put his foot down. My FIL actually ran into me at the store and put all the blame on my like I am some type of monster that I made his son do this and a lot of other things. I was not okay with it and I put my foot down.

You don’t have to accept things if you are not okay with it. Even if it is family. Just because it is family does not make things that make you uncomfortable okay. It isn’t. You don’t have to settle or be bullied into anything. Stand up for yourself.. You are worth it.

Cruel world

It seems like everytime we turn on the news, there is something awful happening somewhere in the world. Things have grown so bad, you don’t want your kids playing outside by themselves. You question everyone you meet. Etc. When I was a little kid, I used to play outside without adult supervision with my friends all the time. I rode my bike down the road to the gas station without a single thought. Now, I cannot even let my 7 year old step outside without me being right by her side. The world has become cruel.

Many parents are trying to toughen up their kids to face this dark cruel world. Trying to toughen up their kids for situations that could happen. How to handle the things that are going on. Playing the defense against the worlds in their teachings. However, it is not our job to toughen up our kids to face the cruel world. It is our job to raise kids who will make the world a little less cruel. We should play offense and teach our kids how to be innovative. How to be the reason the world gets better.

We can show our kids how to make the world less cruel by bringing back manners. There are so many kids these days that I see in stores who will run you down with the shopping cart without a single care in the world. Not even a single ‘excuse me’. Bring back the caring. Teaching them the importance of a helping hand. Teach them the concept of ‘karma’. I understand that people don’t like karma because its not in their ‘religion’ or they call it something else. I call it Karma. Those who need to put it into their christianity box would be ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you’. Teach them that putting good out into the world brings good back to them. But don’t teach them to do for other in expectations for others to do good for them. That is where we get that entitled feeling. Instead teach them the importance of kindness.

It is our jobs to help our kids grow. We can either toughen them up where they only think about themselves, or we can raise them to change the world one kind act at a time.

Manners

Now for a post about a personal opinion. So please when you read this, please take it with a grain of salt. My opinion doesn’t mean that it is your opinion. It does not mean that what I am writing about is fact. It is simply just my opinion and things that I think about.

So with that being said.

Please, as a parent…..teach your kids MANNERS!

I have seen way too many kids not understand the basic concept of a single excuse me. Thank you. Please.

I have seen kids throw tantrums in stores and yelling at their parents.

I have seen kids push and shove other kids and adults to get what they want.

I remember growing up if I was rude to someone in the store (without proper reasoning) I was in trouble.

I mean you don’t have to teach your kids to worship the ground that everyone else walks on. But simply teaching them the basic manners so that they’re not a bunch of entitled jerks would be great. I mean if we could all teach our kids manners. That they aren’t entitled to respect without giving respect…. then maybe we can change the world. I know it seems like a long shot. But it is a simple idea.

That is my thought for the day. I would love to see more kids with manners. Showing respect to get respect in return… I understand that the adults need to show the kids respect also. It is a full cirlce. Show respect to get respect.

I can’t answer

Honestly, who has voicemail messages these days? I mean as a teenager I used to put music as my message. Or one of those silly hey…..yeah you got my voicemail. leave a message. However, now its just ‘you have reached…..’ That is it. But it should really say ‘NO I cannot answer, I have kids, just text me like a normal person.’ I honestly don’t call unless its for an important reason, school, doctors or an emergency. Everytime I get a phone call from a number I don’t know… I either don’t answer or answer skeptically. And then I can barely ever hear what the other person is saying because I GOT KIDS. Do you know anyone with exceptionally quiet kids? Mine can be… occasionally. Either they’re playing loudly, telling me stories, asking me questions or fighting with each other. Do you really want to hear that in the background? And is it really safe to walk to a quiet place to have said phone conversation?And leave two kids by themselves especially when they’re fussing over the same toy even though they both have the same exact toy??? Nope!

I text everyone. I even text my oldest teacher. She is amazing. She moved up a grade with my kid. So this is her second year with her. She had her for both first and second grade and she tells the parents at the beginning of the year, if you have free texts, I will text you updates and important information. Since I knew we were going to have the same teacher again, said teacher actually sent me the school list in July so that we could beat out the stupid back to school shopping crowd. Yeah she is that amazing. And if they do something amazing i class like meet the Bojangles Chicken….she’ll send photos to us. She is amazing.

I am getting way off topic here. If you need me…..text. Don’t call. Because I am likely going to send you to voicemail and the voicemail really needs to tell you just to text. Heck, I don’t even call my husband unless I need to. Unless I have texted 20 times with no answer…. this actually happens. He is one of those that never pays attention to his phone. so he doesn’t always know when I have texted. I always text with my brother. We don’t have really deep conversations and it is usually about music. or the kids or something like that. However, if he calls…. I usually jump to the assumption that something has happened. He doesn’t ever call me unless it is too much to text or it is an emergency. HAHA so I usually, probably because of my anxious brain, jump to the conclusion something has happened. He works pretty much 12 hours 6 days a week so he doesn’t really have a lot of time to talk on the phone and he has been working this type of schedue for 13 years. So I have always just texted or IM’d him. We are not a big talker. I don’t really call my mom unless it is too much to text or an emergency. We do, however, text and talk every single day. I do face time her quite a bit because the girls love to face time their granny.

But seriously….. We live in an age where you can TEXT. Unless it is an important an emergency please just TEXT me.

The glue

Having a family is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I love my kids and I love my husband. They are my entire world. Daddy, is the name of the person that my kids walk right past to get to mommy. My husband works all the time and he is like the support beam of the house. He is the one that takes care of the financial aspects of our family.

However, in all families, the word mama, momma, mom, mommy or any other forms of the word is simply the glue that holds everything together even when she feels like she may fall apart. A mom is a great actor. She can pretend like there is nothing bothering her. She isn’t in pain. She isn’t sad. She is the one who has the brave face. She is the one who gets the kids up and ready for school . She is the one who makes sure everytone has a clean pair of underwear. She is the one who makes sure you have a warm meal in your tummy. She is the one who helps with the homework. Listens to the complaints of the day. Deals with the tantrums. She handles every battle every single day without a single complaint.

For me, being a stay at home is my job. It is a job that never ends. It is the best job that I have ever had. It is the best job I will ever have. Yes, I have an anxiety disorder. Yes I have panic attacks. But I have also mastered the art of pulling myself out of them and not having one in front of my kids. They don’t need that fear, that worry. I am the glue that holds my family together. Therefore, I cannot publically fall apart. That is the purpose of my shower time. I am the glue that handles the sibling spats. I am the glue that listens to my husbands day. I am the glue that helps my kids with their chores and homework. I am the glue that makes sure my husband has everything he needs for work and for training. I am the glue.

So if you’re a dad, brother, nephew, son….thank the mothers in your life. Being the glue….isn’t an easy job.

Memories

What is your earliest memory? Mine would happen to be when we lived in Idaho near my moms family. I am not sure which was the very first memory but Idaho would have to be my first childhood memories. I remember my brothers going outside and making Barney footprints in the snow around our house before I got up so that I woud believe that barney came and visited our house… I remember chasing a rainbow thru the country trying to find the pot of gold at the end. I remember having breakfast with my mom and grandpa almost every week. I remember when I got my bike I wanted the training wheels off after a day or two because I was ‘too big’ for them and could do it without them. I remember when that bike got stolen, going to my grandpa’s to find a brand new big girl bike waiting for me. I remember my grandpa always telling me to grab the paper towels to clean up the pee of his elderly dog, whom I cherished. I remember meeting my grandma who had Alzheimer and her thinking I was my mom. I didn’t get to know her too well, she was sick and passed not too long later. I remember having group birthday parties. If you had a birthday in the same month, we held just one party. It was easier. I remember going to my aunts to make holiday cookies or having Thanksgiving at my uncles. I remember my uncles goat chasing me up a hay stack creating a life long hatred of goats. I remember one of my aunts scolding me for making a mess with a PB&J sandwich which caused a life long dislike of jelly and anything sticky. There are so many memories that I have of that place. We didn’t move back to my hometown until I was 5 almost 6. I honestly only had about 3 to 4 years with my moms family but they’re my earliest memories. Honestly, when we moved back home…. are some of the worst childhood memories. Suffering sexual abuse at the age of 5/6 was extremely terrible and difficult thing to cope with. It took about 11 years to open up about it to my family. That was very hard to do. But that is not what this post is about.

However, every day we are making deposits in the memory banks of or kids. Every day we have the opportunity to create a happy memory. A happy childhood. A happy thought. Happy kids turn into happy adults. Now that is not saying that you can’t discipline your kids, that you cannot correct them when they’re wrong or that you have to fake a life where you are constantly happy. It is saying that take time to do something with your kids that will create a happy memory for them. Do you want them to grow up remembering their childhood where mommy/daddy worked all the time and never read a good night story. Never baked cookies with them. Never sang songs with them? A childhood where they only saw their parents stress? Memories of their parents scolding them at every turn?

NO?

Yeah I don’t want my kids to think that either. Yes, I can be a strict parent and I can be a lax parent. I can get on the floor and pretend to be a horsey while the kids ride pretending to be cowgirls. We try to have an equal line. When the time warrants strict rules or punishments, then that is the parents that we are. However, we like to talk to our kids to explain what they did was wrong and discuss what they could do instead. We usually ask our oldest ‘now what is a different way you could have ….. ‘ because it shows her that she has different options in regards to her behavior and that she is making the decision to act out. Our girls know the basic rules. Even when we’re playing with them. They know there are rules. But we enjoy playing with them. We jump on the trampoline with them. We horse play in the living room floor. We throw blankets and pillows on the floor and lounge around with popcorn and drinks to watch some cartoon movie for the hundreth time. We make holiday cookies on Christmas and Easter. WE go swimming as a family. WE do family projects together. For instance, our house doesn’t have a fireplace for Santa to come down. And the oldest believes he squeezes thru the door. But she wishes we had a fireplace so that Santa could come deliver presents like he does in the movies….. So with construction paper…. we made a fireplace on the wall by the tree. Above the fireplace is paper lights that we also created as a family. Everyone helped, even the 2 year old. It didn’t take but maybe an hour to get everything together. But it was an hour that was spent as a family. TOGETHER. Creating a happy memory in the memory banks of our kid. Creating a tradition that they will remember and maybe pass on to their children. Like spending Christmas Eve dinner at my husbands mom is a happy tradition. Like going to an Easter Egg Hunt at my brothers EVERY SINGLE YEAR and then going out to eat as a family somewhere, most likely Chili’s.

It really doesn’t have to be an extravagent gesture to create a happy memory for your kids. It could be saying a good night song every night. Or in my oldest daughters case, it is the good night kisses. First on the cheeks. Then eskimo kisses and then butterfly kisses. Simple little things that are really going to stick with them. That lets them know you love them. That lets know that you care. It is beneficial for them as well as yourself. As parents, we are natually stressed. Think of these moments as a break from the stress. A tiny moment where you can put bills and money out of your head just for a few moments. It will be worth it.

Believe

As a parent, you constantly worry if you’re doing what is best for your kid. You worry if maybe you’re being too soft on them, or maybe you’re being too hard. Is your punishments enough to create a sense of better judgement in your kid? Are they ever going to learn how to be successful adults? Are we being their friend rather than their parent? Are we causing too much emotional damage that will cause them to one day tell those stories to a therapist on a couch one day? Are we the reason that they will be spending hundreds of dollars on therapy as adults? Or are we being overly sensitive? Are we being the type of parent that they will learn how to push around to get their way? Does their bad behaviors reflect on who we are as parents?

My kids are under the age of ten and yet I still worry constantly about how I am as a parent and how it will affect them in the long run. My oldest is sensitive. Boy is she sensitive. You raise your voice to her and she shuts down. And cries. She is a big cryer. And I am not saying that is a bad thing. It is great to be emotional and to be able to be okay with your emotions. My husband lack in the emotion department. It has to be VERY big for him to cry. Or to show any emotions. I find myself asking him what he is thinking all the time because his POKER face is just that darn good. Our youngest, however, is the complete opposite of her sister. She is tough. She is brave. She is fearless. She laughs at your raised voice. She snickers at your little pop on the behind and she only cries when she doesn’t get her way. That or she is overly tired. Our oldest is me. I was a sensitive child. Heck I am still sensitive today. And our youngest is their daddy. If you were to put us four in a poker game…..Myself and our oldest would be losing because we would show it on our face. My husband and our youngest would be winning because they could have the best or worst hand on the planet and you would NEVER see it on their face.

We constantly are adapting to this thing called parenting. I think that everyone is. It isn’t something that you’re born with. Kids are never the same. So even though I babysat a lot growing up, I wasn’t fully prepared to be a mom at 19. I did, however, know that my days of being young and carefree were over. It was time to buckle down and make sure that my child had everything and knew everything that I didn’t when I was her age. I find myself explaining things more to her, to them both. Why we do things this way or what this means. Instead of saying ‘Because I Said So’ I try to explain why I said so. That’s not saying my mom didn’t do it. She did. We were always informed if something was going to happen. I remember when my paternal grandfather was sick and in the hospital. I was around 7 or so. My mom took us three kids to the hospital and before we went in she explained that he was very sick and that he probably wouldn’t be going home. That this was probably our last time seeing him. That we should, if we felt like we wanted to, say our goodbyes and tell him that we loved him. She never forced us to say ‘I love you’ to anyone in the family. She always just kind of told us if you feel it. If you feel like you love your grandpa and want him to know it then you should tell him. I did. I told him. Even though I questioned his love for me on a daily basis. He was a weird old man. Who found humor in ripping hang nails off my little fingers or trying to set the stray strings of my brothers pants on fire. He was weird. But so was his son, my father. But I still loved him. He introduced me to Deer Jerky which I still to this day find the best jerky. Growing up in the south, Deer is something you hunt, eat and try ever so dearly not to hit with your car.

However, I think that the most important thing as parents is believing in your children. For every person who believes in themself was a parent that believed first. I like photography. It is one of my joys. It is one of my coping mechanisms for anxiety. I don’t like being the center of attention. there is something about being behind a camera that allows me to feel more confident. Then the editing process. I can spend hours editing photos. In that time…while editing I am calm. My anxiety doesn’t feel as threatening. My mom loves my photos. Especially of her grandkids. She loves how I can get her oldest grandson, who doesn’t smile, to smile. The full face tooth smile. No one else can get him to do that. But I can. My mom is always telling me how good my photos are. And I am usually very confident in my art. However, there is that one person that just ruins everything for me. Said person constantly tells me that another family member is better than I am. Said family member photographed an award show. Said family member is traveling all over to take photographs. I literately have limited my time around said person because I can only stand being told someone is better than me at pretty much everything in life for so long.

My husband is training to be a wrestler. His mom isn’t too fond on it because she doesn’t want anyone to hurt her baby. My husband is an only child so I completely understand that point of view. However, she is always behind her baby no matter anyway. She believes in him. She knows he can do anything and everything that he sets his mind to. That is one of the main reasons, I believe, for why he is doing amazing in his training class. Because his mom first believed in him and now he believes in himself. And I believe in him so much. I swear I am his biggest fan.

So as a parent…even though we all question our parenting styles or whether we’re hurting their emotional growth….the best thing that we can do is ALWAYS believe in them. Because if we don’t believe in them, as their parents, then who will? Who will be their biggest fan when they’re trying something new? Who will be cheering them on when they pass that test? Believe in your kids no matter what and they will grow into teens and adults who belive in themselves. Throughout everything my kids do right or wrong, I believe in them. I know that they are good kids at heart and that they are stil learning, growing and developing. It is my job as a mom to believe in them, nuture them and help them grow into happy adults. Money is great but it isn’t everything and I don’t want my girls growing up thinking that they wil only be happy if they have money. Happy is an emotion not a financial status. I believe in my girls. I believe that they will follow their hearts. That is the biggest greatest thing that I can do as a mom. Is believing in them. I will cheer them on. I will pick them up if they fall. I will wipe away any tears. I will fight with them if they need me too. And I will always FIGHT for them. Because they made me a mom.. The greatest thing that has happened to me.

Time never wasted

As a parent who suffers from an anxiety disorder, I constantly wonder if I am being the best parent that I can be. If I am going to cause my kids to have traumatic memories. If I am going to be the reason why they won’t reach their potential. Or if I am going to be the reason that they are paying hundreds of dollars a month for therapy. Also, my anxiety causes me to have the most outrageous fears. Like dying. I am terrified to die. Because no one will love them like I do. No one will fight harder for them than I do. Because the traumatic issues that it would cause them. I am constantly afraid something is going to happen and I won’t be around. This is also one of my fears that I haven’t really told anyone about.

So that is one of the reasons why I love being a home mom. I love being able to spend quality time with my kids. I didn’t have that with my oldest at first. And that is why she is so close with her granny. Because while I worked from the time she was 3 weeks old until she was 4… She spent the most time with her granny. Now that I stay at home… I spend as much time with my kids as I can. Even if that just means helping with homework. My husband likes to say that I am the hero of the family (although I never agree with him because I am not bringing in any financial means to our family) because I take care of everything in the family. From him to the girls to our parents and everything in between. From cooking and cleaning to paying the bills and grocery shopping. Field trips and school functions. The kids are my life. They complete me.

Therefore, I completely believe that any time spent with your kids is never time wasted. Especially when they’re young. They’re impressionable. Spending time with them helps them develop their fine motor skills. Handling situations. Dealing with emotions. Learning to share. And over all it helps them become better human beings. Also, it allows you to tap into your inner child which allows you to remain young at heart. Take a few moments out of your day…. and spend them with our kids.

Respect

There is a lot of debate that this generation of parents is raising a generation of snowflakes…. There are actually a lot of debates about what we should and shouldn’t do as parents. Like spankings are too rough for our kids. I believe in popping a child on the behind if the action warrants it. In our house…that is the LAST resort. There are many other punishments that our kids have to go thru before they get to the spanking portions. Actually, I think I have only popped our oldest once on the behind and that was for pushing her baby sister off the bed.

However, one thing that lacks in our society is respect. Now I believe that my kids should listen to and respect me as their parent. That I will always do what is best for them and to follow the rules that have been set. However, I also believe in showing my girls respect. If they don’t want to hug their uncle, they don’t have to. I am not going to demand that they hug someone that they don’t want to. I also believe in talking to the kids. It is showing respect in the simpliest ways. Instead of just yelling and that being the final word. I show my girls respect by having conversations with them so that they fully understand what is going on and why they are in trouble. (if they have done something) This is a time that I either call a ‘come to Jesus talk’ or Understanding time.

I have seen way too many parents yell or discipline their child with that child not understanding what they had done wrong. Kids are in school Monday thru Friday for hours a week. They are learning new behaviors and things from their friends and other kids that are around them. These behaviors may not be okay in your household. However, punishing without explaining why it is wrong is really hard for the kid to understand why it is not okay to not do that.

Now this is in no way of saying let your kid run their own life from the get go. Oh HECK NO. I believe in parenting. I believe in old school parenting. But I also believe in talking with your child. It is a simple respect thing. You show your kid enough respect to talk to them about what is going on in the house…then they’ll show you that much more respect because you are seeing them as a human being rather than just your child. your possession. They will also be more willing to come talk to you about some of their own issues. By showing your kids a little bit of respect, you’re opening an environment where they can feel comfortable with you. My mom did this with us all the time. She was a single mother taking care of three kids. Sometimes her check couldn’t cover every single bill and feed three growing kids. So she would sit us down and explain that her check was going to be short and that she wasn’t going to be able to cover this bill or that bill and it would usually be right before the next payday that it was due. Like this one time the water bill was due 2 days before her next check and we had already gotten an extension because bill just racked up being a single mom in a state where she had no family and the water was about to be cut off unless she paid the bill in full. So she sat us down and asked what we thought about the situation. She could either pay the bill or buy groceries. We chose food. We only went 2 days without running water. But we had planned ahead and filled up jugs so that we still had water. But it was things like that that made me respect my mom even more. She didn’t have it easy considering her entire family was on the other side of the US. She was literately doing this by herself. I still hold that respect for my mom and try to do anything I can for her.

Respect….it is a two way street.

you want your kid to respect other kids and other adults…. They learn that behavior at home. From their parents.